water heaters sump pumps and passive aggressive behavior

So the question is - am I being passive aggressive if I said good morning and got no response so I am leaving for the weekend even though the basement is flooded and we need not only a water heater but most likely a sump pump too? I would stay and help but I don't think he wants any. Once the water is gone - I'm going to need to start taking stuff out to the trash - there must be 30 empty boxes and who knows how many old magazines down there...I HATE the basement because of the mess - especially since Colleen has been partying down there for 2-3 years...I did want to sort through stuff to take to a friend to sell on consignment...I guess it's time. :-) maybe I can add it to my vacation fund...which is almost defunct since it was needed to pay the property tax...

I can't wait to see everyone in MI - I have to remember my camera and I really hope we get my computer fixed so I can post pictures again!

Relay in two days

I'm off this week...just relaxing at home. Hanging out, watching the food network, going to the gym, running errands. Relay is saturday - I'm looking for blankets, flashlights, glow in the dark chalk, and patriot colors...not sure if I can do any other laps or not. I think this year will be very fun.

Today I am heading to lunch with a friend...got to go shower.

Later!

It's my birthday...

well, for two more hours...where did the day go?

we got up at 7:30 for a pancake breakfast - which was really nice - Tim came and brought 3 friends and Sarah was there with 2 friends and Royce was there and the servers sang happy birthday to me...Colleen was working so at 11 - I went to Manhattan Bagel and sat with her and jessie on their break.

We were all very tired from Relay yesterday so we tried napping and I must have slept some because before I knew it it was 1:30...shortly after that my mom and dad called to wish me a happy day. <3 that was really nice. talking to my mom was really good - it felt like it used to 20 years ago or so...I think I even made her laugh which seems to be my goal whenever I talk with her.

Then Sarah took my phone because hers isn't working...so I got laundry started, walked Beaux around the mile, came home and visited with Tim while waiting for Colleen to get home to go get our nails done...I got red nails!!! Not fire engine red but dark purpley red...which most likely won't go with my red sweaters...oh well, I guess I will wear black, white and gray this week...

From the nail salon we went to the mall - but because royce was coming home early, we just ran in and did Colleen's errand... I really wanted to go see if Aerie would give me a special gift for my birthday but there wasn't time.

From the mall we went to dinner - which was nice although the waitress thought she had given us the bill so we sat for 20 -30 minutes longer than necessary...from there i took Angie home and went to the grocery store...

I need to cut up fruit for tomorrow - or do you think I can take an entire watermelon in to the office to cut there??? Nah, I'd better toss clothes from the washer to the dryer, fold dry ones and cut up fruit even though I really wanted to get to bed...

So that is a typical sort of birthday for me...Tim gave me nice smelling lotion and body spray...Colleen, Sarah & Royce gave me two camis, socks, and a cute top from H&M. I got to spend individual time with each of my children (yesterday more with sarah at relay). I feel happy and loved and content.

now if only I could remain thus for the next year.

typical weekend

This is the chair we painted to auction off at Relay - the proceeds will go to Colleen and Angie's team - it was a lot of fun to paint - isn't it cute? I wish I had a porch to set it on to watch the world go by...

I feel like I should be writing but don't have much to say. I'm killing time until Colleen gets off and Sarah is ready for her concert. We will drop Sarah off at the Duck Deli for the jazz festival (I hope the sun continues to shine) and then Colleen and I are going prom dress shopping. I hope we can find one for less than what we paid last year...I really should find a dress swap somewhere for these types of things.

I'm envious of Katie's trip to CA - I had planned to go at the end of May but it looks like mom and dad will be in DC so no trip for me...unless they end up wanting me to go out there and fly back with them...it would be nice to get so see Thea as well as them. And it is so awkward to stay at the house in DC...I should think of alternate plans for that week if I decide not to go either place.

It is the week before Relay and the weekend of Memorial Day...I guess I will just play it all by ear.

I was working on a health assessment thru work from a company that is into coaching people into healthier lifestyles...I found it a little frustrating...the choices for some of their questions were just too standard...why do I want to lose weight? Why do I eat? How motivated am I to find ways to reduce my stress level? Since much of what is causing me stress is beyond my control...oh well...maybe there will be a few tips that I will find useful.

Colleen wants me to join a gym with her...I think mainly so I will be paying for it...although she does say she will go with me. This will be nice although I still wonder WHEN I will find the time to go. I have been walking at lunch - which is nice except it is dependent on the weather...which has turned summer like this weekend. I can walk on the third floor but it gets boring. I like the idea of going somewhere air conditioned to lift weights...but will I use it once Colleen has left for college? Maybe Sarah will join us. I have to go find out the details...

well, it is time to get productive...laundry anyone?

Noisy dogs on Sunday afternoon

First I need to apologize for not getting any pictures of my hair out there for you all - it seems the power cord to my mac has had better days and no one is around to take a picture anyway. I am hoping to get an iPad when they come out and to keep it just for me! somehow the things I get don't stay mine. sometimes I get sad/mad/frustrated about it - other times it's ok.

I was thinking this morning how my house is a metaphor for my relationship with Royce. There are so many things that need maintenance and no one working on them that it is sort of falling apart around us. I feel paralyzed by this when I work up the energy to care - most of the time I just try to close my eyes and keep moving. I worry though because he doesn't seem to see the wreckage of our relationship - I know I'm good at hiding it - but really...I discovered three houses ago that Royce is not big on maintenance - I've only recently discovered that this lack of taking care of things extends to other areas of his life as well. I think before he thought he could just make enough money to buy new when his belongings wore out - and he really doesn't care about taking care of his things...

It's sad really because I think he'd like to keep connected and just doesn't know how and lately I just seem to be going through the motions. I want more but I'm not sure of what.

I'd really like to feel differently and wonder where my feelings went. Years of suppressed anger maybe?

Oh well, people must be out in their back yards because the dogs are going nuts. I need to finish laundry and think about making chicken soup for dinner.

And find a better way to put these thoughts into words...I hate it when it starts flowing and I don't write it down and then when I do it looks different and goes elsewhere.

Laundry, Olympics, Grocery Store

That is my list of things to do this afternoon. Royce has left for work, Colleen is taking friends home, Sarah is hobbling around from soccer and doing homework, and I need to start to get ready for next week. The usual laundry needs doing and I need to get supplies for breakfast and lunch and some dinner foods. Don't really feel like doing it though. I am watching the Olympics to see what games are on today. Right now it is cross country skiing. Someday I hope to learn how to cross country ski - although I doubt I will ever race. It makes me think of the UP and wonder how the snow is up there. I never realized how much of the body it uses. I wish I was as good as Katie at pulling photos from other sources into a blog. Maybe this summer she will teach me.

Time to move clothes from the washer into the dryer.

sorry I don't have more to say - feeling very tired and lazy - like the dogs who are sleeping at my feet.

I got my hair cut and colored again - I now have distinct bangs. I hope I can do it like the woman that cuts it does. I'm getting better at it as I get used to the brush and style. The place I go is pretty expensive - but I have gotten so many compliments I don't mind paying it. I had forgotten how good it feels to have my hair look nice.

Postscript to Saturday

So I was in this grumpy bad mood and I took Colleen with me to try to start Tim's car. We put oil in and yes, the battery is dead. BUT the car is completely surrounded by 3 feet of snow with no way to get my car anywhere near it. And we can't get it into neutral to push his car out of the tiny driveway.

We make plans to return to take Tim and Marissa where they need to go later and try to leave. Did I mention the "driveway" was covered in icy snow? So I try pulling into Tim's driveway and get stuck. Colleen pushes me out - I pull forward but the road is blocked by more snow so I am backing out and just as Colleen tells me I am heading into the snow - I get stuck! I was so stuck I created a huge mud hole - Tim, Marissa, Colleen and Jax had a terrible time pushing me in and out of it...in fact, finally Tim told me to let him drive and he backed it out of the driveway to keep me from backing back into the same hole. By this time, the car and Colleen were covered in mud (really mucky). And all I can think of is how I'm supposed to have a "clean" car for them to transport.

To make this long story shorter - I really suck at backing up a vehicle - and I suck at getting cars unstuck (remember the ditch in Michigan????) BUT by the end of this "adventure" we were all laughing and my horrible mood had dissipated (that is the word I want - right).

So I spent the rest of the afternoon and evening watching the Olympics - walked the dogs at 10:30. Watched Apollo Ono get a silver medal and the woman's mogul get a gold - very cool sports (I think).

Happy Valentine's Day! We are going out for a late breakfast - ihop here we come! It has been months since we did this, I hope the line isn't too long and that Sarah and I are finally hungry. Colleen is out getting printer ink - not sure she will make it home.

Thanks for listening.