Aruba

here we are in Aruba.  The connection is slow so no pictures until i get home.  Today I did the kids sleeping.  We were all exhausted by the trip.  Perhaps tomorrow i will do sunburn ones.  Tim and I win the prize for sunburn.  Colleen for overall tan.  Sarah for grumpiness, no one wants to play in the pool with me.  She has been sleeping and we can't get her to wake up so we can go to dinner.  Yippee.  More pictures of sleeping kids.

Aruba 2008 day 1

I was hoping to download pictures of everyone sleeping but this connection isn't letting me do it right now.  

the sun is shining, the weather is perfect and the kids are just starting to get moving...

Butterflies

When I get tired of picking berries, I take pictures of the flowers nearby.  The butterflies were amazing.   There were 3 or 4 of them per plant.

Evening/Morning?

Fun Things from Summer

First picture is from Aruba, the view looking down from the balcony.  

Next is a thimble berry bush just before we picked the berries for jam.

Third are the rocks we found by the hotel and the message we left for everyone.

Enjoy!

My favorite tree

I finally figured out how to get my pictures out of my camera.  I have a ton of pictures of this tree and the marina behind it.  I imagine that this summer if I make it up there again, I will take more pictures of it.  It doesn't change much from year to year which makes it pretty cool.  Last year the lake was so low we could cross over to the island easily.  

Now to try some other things with my pictures.

Pictures

All this time I thought I had 5 pictures and tonight I discovered I have 6...I think this is the most coherent way to show the dance.  Rollover Beethoven...I do wish I had the last picture of us all waving at the imagined camera.  I hope next year is as much fun as this year was.

trying again

So today I wrote a letter.  Didn't say a lot.  Tried to apologize one last time.  Tried to explain what happened to me.  Said good bye.  I hope this gives me the closure I seem to need.  Now this person knows what I think happened and how I felt/feel.  While there were parts that were sort of mean, in that I told her that I never needed her friendship (or whatever relationship we had).  I think I tried to warn her a little.  That the person that came between us is not what they seem.  I doubt they will believe me.  Which is fine.  I told her I was never angry.  That the other person hurt me.  That I hope they are more careful with her feelings.  That I wish her the best and hope she takes care of herself.  

So that is done.  It was short and to the point.  Then I put it in an envelop and interofficed it to her.  I have no idea when she will get it and I'm not sure I care.  While I'd like to talk with her again, I will never share my life with her that way I did before.  I hope this last month she has found and made other connections.  Actually, I don't care.  I hope he doesn't hurt her although I think it is a given.  The only person he cares about is himself.  When he no longer needs her adoration, he will ditch her.  I hope she has people to turn to when it happens.

People who use people eventually get used themselves.  

What did I hope to accomplish?  I'm not exactly sure.  I guess to have my say.  To apologize for being misled.  To wish them well.  To give her one last chance to apologize to me.  Not that I truly believe it will happen.   But at least I tried and I feel like maybe I do have the closure I need.  Not that I want to be in contact with or anywhere near her, but at least I know that I tried one last thing to repair our relationship.

Musings

So I'm trying to play with facebook and getting no where...

Dress rehearsal was tonight.  Did pretty well, in that I didn't mess up too obviously and actually had fun!  Part of me can't wait for Saturday night.  I wish I knew how to download the pictures the kids took.  We looked pretty good.

So the big dog likes the little dog and the kitten is getting used to all the other animals.  She still runs away from me on a regular basis but I'm sure she will come around.  

Time to head for bed.  I've got reviews I HAVE to write and it is past everyone's bed time now!

thoughts

R & I talked a long time about LLL yesterday. I then spent 15 hours doing Relay for Life so I'm not sure I can even distill all that we said his take on it has to do with a radical group of feminists wanting to destroy LLL (most likely because of their encouragement to mothers to stay home and raise their children). If this is the ultimate goal of those getting into the positions of power there may not be anything those of us that love what LLL stands for can do about it beyond creating a new organization based upon the original concepts for the USA. I don't think what is happening on the board is effecting the international divisions in the same way.

think about it

accrediting more mothers with major separation issues

the US medical campaign to have babies sleep on their backs

the active discouragement of co-sleeping in general

becoming more of a do as i say not as i do place 

this is not only the right way to do things, but the only way to do them

all ideas are welcome, as long as they fit our language and agree with our thoughts

Not having the time to read all the posts I'm not sure what other issues have come up in terms of the concepts and LAD...

LLL was never meant to be a radical group, if you read the writings of the founding mothers, they always seemed to shy away from politics and wanted to quietly change the world one baby at a time. Remember how during the LA process all of us talked about not mixing causes and how important it is to meet each mother where she is and gently offer information to help her make the best decision for her family. Being accepting to all mothers.

LLL Leaders while being held to a different standard (needed to live the concepts) still have to back a little from their passionate belief that ALL babies need their MOTHERS and their mother's milk so that they don't frighten new mothers who aren't sure their bodies are going to work so much that they don't even try.

it's a fine line.  a difficult one to walk.  not all mothers will make those choices and while it makes me sad for those babies and mothers (for missing out on something incredible), we all do the best we can with what we have to work with and we should be allowed to choose without others judging our choices.

This is to me what LLL is about. This is what i loved about LLL. It felt like coming home. It was a place where being a mother was not just enough, it was the best thing, the right thing, and something to be proud of. Not every mother feels this way and since I've been back a work  I have been reminded of that. Being a mother is a very hard job and does not get the respect it should.