Random thoughts

i've been thinking about how boring happiness can be and how misery and unrequited love and broken hearts seem to give us so much more to write about. Think about music and songs, there are so many more songs about breaking up, or wishing someone would like them or getting even for being jilted than the happy we're engaged and getting married and living happily ever after songs. When I'm hurting or sad or wishing things were different I seem to have so much more to say. The words seem to flow in a more fluid way.

People have been asking me about Sven. In many ways, Sven is not a real person, he's more of a composite of many. He can be anyone I need him to be. Sometimes I do have a specific person in mind when I write a poem but other times I don't. I put older poems up that were written before I came up with the idea of Sven as well. I worry that someone will take Sven too seriously, which would be a mistake. Sven is a friend that I love dearly. Sven is my husband. Sven is the boy that got away, the one I wish I had taken more seriously. Sven is the one who broke my heart and the one who mended it. I miss him, I see him all the time, I have never met him. I bought a card one time that had a picture of someone coming around a corner...I don't remember exactly what it said other than it had to do with hoping that one day I would come around the corner and run into the person the card is for. That would be Sven. In my mind he is perfect, I know that isn't possible.

And now before I pick up the Twilight Series again and read all night...I am heading for bed.