Aruba 2007

This is a great spot! The rocks are huge and fun to climb around. Check out the view of the island too!



Here is Colleen relaxing in the sun.














Tim and Colleen ducking up between to rocks to get to the top.












Sarah found a fun place to hide!


Wouldn't this be a cool card?


Tim and Colleen checking out the view.

We should have worn shoes....

Exploring ruins at the Quincy steam hoist site.

No time for a real tour so we did windows and more windows













And then there were these other shapes...

Mt Baldy

This is not the top of the mountain....see the peak in the distance? We still had to go down and then up an even steeper climb. It's a 2 hour climb. I wasn't sure we'd make it.


Yes, we did make it. Here we are resting.


We're on the top of the world!

A lonely flower

Can you see the ore boat?

Colleen looking over the edge...notice what her shirt says!

For most of the hike (both up and down) Colleen lead the way. I forgot to take pictures on the way up so these are on the way down.

Here she is waiting for me to catch up!

Most of the walk looked like this, nice path, nice trees, fabulous sun on our shoulders...making it hot!

It was a great day, even if it was exhausting. So far I've done the climb each year. I hope to make it a tradition. I just have to stay in shape.

Friday Evening

Amazing what a difference like 15 hours makes...

No trip to the post office.  Different tears this time.  

Being there for my dad was one of the most difficult things I've done.  Not the waiting, that was calm and just long.  But being the one given the outcome - not for the faint hearted.  I guess if everything was fine it's not such a big deal.  But to learn that there is unforeseen scar tissue perhaps blocking the colon and that the cancer may have returned.  Not fun at all.  To be alone in a strange town where I want to remain as inconspicuous as possible and to stand in the parking lot with tears streaming down my face....no not fun at all.  To know that you don't have time to cry, to pull oneself together to go in and wait for them to tell my dad what went on.  To know that I have to remember what they said because he won't...

I love my dad.  I'm not ready to be alone without them.  

We had a conversation about the will while he was recovering.  I wonder if he believes me, that I really don't care about the money.  That he could leave it to the ASPCA if he so desired.  I want them to be able to live as they would like for as long as they like.  I'd like the division to be equal but how can 30 years of taking advantage of the situation be fair.  It was interesting to think he's a little worried about it for an entirely different reason although it is a true one.  It's hard to want fast decisions when they are so difficult to make.  

No one called Anna...I will have to try to call her tomorrow.  It's not fair that she not know.  

Friday Morning

I stayed up too late watching Olympics and finishing my book (twilight) and now I'm supposed to be walking before taking dad to town for a colonoscopy...that will make for an exciting morning.

it has been a peaceful week.  Mom is better than I feared but still so very fragile.  She reminds me of Dessie the last year before her stroke.  I worry she is trying hard for me but try to be optimistic for dad.  While I admit I should be pushing for decisions and helping more (both are difficult because neither parent seems to want to discuss such things...)

Any way, I am also trying to prepare myself for an unexpected visit to the post office.  I can't decide if this is a good idea or a disaster.  I wish a friend was here to help (M/D/M/anyone). I'm also working on a plan to avoid it completely, after all, Thea would enjoy such a visit much more than me.  I have a suspicion that dad perhaps is planning this to verify that I have no desire to go there.  To be sure no improper behavior has occurred.  I am sick to my stomach about just the idea of seeing j.  While I'd like to go in as though absolutely nothing ever happened between us, like I'm seeing an old friend who means nothing...I don't know if it is possible.  It bothers me that I will not see their true reaction, they are so much better than I am at hiding feelings/not feeling than I am.  I do not want to appear as anything other than disinterested, just in because my dad requested it.  I realize I am making a big deal out of nothing but I do wish my hair looked just a little nicer and that I could not care even for this part.  I don't think my rents understand that I truly have no desire to EVER see/talk/hear about this person again.  I realize this is problematic but hope that the years of waiting and once that other connection is made that I won't care.  I'm hoping for protection from c as well.

Why is this so difficult for me?  Why does it even matter?  I wish t was here to help.  To do it.  I don't want to cry this trip.  I want j to wish things had turned out differently.  I want the disappointment to be on that end rather than this.  Is that so bad?  I don't want to feel the pain that i know is just around the corner, waiting to ambush me yet again.  I was doing so well.  

Why can't I be all kinds of beautiful?  Why can't I fake indifference?  Why was I so stupid?  Why do I feel the need to be indifferent?  

I keep thinking that maybe I am ready.  That I can pretend that I feel nothing.  That wanting to feel nothing has worked. The feeling in my stomach tells me otherwise.  I will be nervous and most likely do something stupid.  

maybe they took today off...I don't want to cry anymore and it's too late for that....yesterday on the mountain I wanted to call and say goodbye to them.  I had an entire conversation in my head that reminded me that they said goodbye in the most hurtful manner possible.  by ignoring me.  why do i even want to get close to that again?  i want them to hurt, not me.  i want them to regret it all forever as i do.  

time to walk down to get dad....

Sunrise

The Parents

swimming at Great Sand Bay

Next Time Bug Juice!

This is a view of the trees around Lake Eliza - the lake is swampy...and so no pictures.



Today Colleen and I went exploring...we decided to go up to the lake and while wandering around saw the ski path. On a dare, we headed up the hill, short sleeves and flip flops not withstanding. Some interesting sights before we ran for the road...


Looks like a bull dozer has just been digging in a sandbox.


This spot was called Bear Trail Pond...we decided NOT to stay long. No wish to see bears while we are in flip flops. No clue where we were until we came out on the road just outside of town.


Not sure if you can see it, but there is a mosquito on Colleen's cheek. OUCH! we have bites everywhere

Wednesday Wanderings

Ok, so it is Wednesday and I have tons to do and no energy to do it.  I know I need to go somewhere and buy some stuff but do i want to????  NO WAY!  I don't know if it was waking up late, getting stuck in traffic, or not eating enough dinner (and I do wish I'd stay away from the chips!)   I was fine until i ate the chips....when will i learn?  I do miss the days when i could pass them by without a glance.  

I am so excited about getting back to the Harbor.  I really hope the weather cooperates...at least Sunday morning, please????  Not that anything will happen, it just would be nice not to end up walking in the rain.

I didn't realize Sarah was in this picture. I guess it is from the only time she walked with us. I wonder if the lake is still as low as it was last year.

So Tim just called and a friend of his just died recently. Someone I have never heard of, never met, don't remember hearing about at all. He's hysterical...what am i going to do? I hate it when I can't take away his pain.